Strip me of my blog!

I am the worst blogger in the history of blogs. I am so busy with work and family stuff that I don't even have time to update my blog. But then again there hasn't really been anything to write about.



I have been working a ton, hiring new employees, firing new employees, and trying to get someone trained so I can get back to doing my job instead of cooking everyday. But that is what happens when your the boss and someone calls in or quits. You have to pick up the slack.



I am still struggling with my blood sugar. I can not keep the food out of my mouth. I eat when I am stressed, I eat when I am not hungary, I eat when I am bored... and of course I am eating all the wrong foods. Which doesn't help.

I finally had my review at work, and it went very well. I was surprised. I've been with this company for a year and a half, and I wasn't really sure how my superiors viewed my work. So I am very pleased with that. It is hard to put your heart and soul into something when, A) you've been burned before and B) you are just uncertain about what the future will hold.

Whats your A1C?

Mine was 7.2 yesterday. It needs to be less that 7. I've been trying to lower it since May when it was 6.8. Good job huh? I've already said that I love cake, but clearly I love carbs too. Pretty much anything that is made with sugar or turns to sugar QUICKLY in my body.

The thing is, I work with food everyday. I know what I should eat, and what not to eat. But why can't I stop? If you've never had an addiction you can't understand. I am addicted to food. No wait, I am addicted to bad food. McDonalds, Dunkin Donuts, Tim Hortons, fry me, bake me, dredge me in sugar! Fat, sugar, fat, sugar, give me more, more, MORE!

So back to the A1C. This is a blood test that tests your blood sugar. But not just that it tells the DR what my blood sugar has been for the last 4 months. So in those 4 months instead of lowering this number, I actually raised it. I'm a diabetic. Since my dad was diagnosed wit diabetes 15 years ago, I knew that I would be at risk for it some day. But what did I do to prevent it? Nothing. And now I am on medication. Not insulin. Just a pill twice a day.

I hope that this is the wake up call I need. I have been on Weight Watchers on and off for about 10 years. I love WW and the program but even though I lost 13 lbs in the last 4 months, my A1C was up. If I want to stay with WW I have to do it low or no carb. This shouldn't be to hard. I go in 5 weeks to a new DR.

Armed with my no carb approach to WW and my Metformin, I know I have to do this. For me, for my husband, for my kids.

10 years from now

I am due to have my annual review at work next week. And my boss keeps asking me where do I see myself in 10 years...and he wants an answer during my review.

The problem is, that I don't know. How can I know? 10 years ago when I was 22 I would never have said "I think I want to run a kitchen in a convent for nuns." 2 years ago I had the job I wanted, I loved what I did, I loved getting out of bed everyday, I loved going to work.

The problem is not the job, it's me. This is a great job, and I am very lucky to have it, but I just don't love it. The company I worked for for 10 years went bankrupt, and closed in January of 2007. I was lucky to find work so quickly. I was never the stay-at-home-mom kinda girl, but when I was off last year with my kids, it was the best feeling in the world. It was so carefree, we go anywhere or go nowhere, it didn't matter, I had the kids and they had me. But staying home is not an option. We need 2 incomes.

So I have a week to ponder.

I love to bake, and I think I am a talented cake decorator. But it is hard to get a job as a baker or cake decorator that pays what I make now. Also since I do have a culinary degree, but not one that shows a concentration in baking lack of schooling is often an issue. What to do????

I would love to be able to work form home. Baking would fit that bill, but I think I just scarred to take the next step. I scarred to put myself out there. What if people hate my product? What if they hate me? Could I be a good salesperson for my own product?

That review will be here before I know it. But so will 10 years from now.

So I love cake...

There I admit it. I love cake! White, chocolate, red velvet, marble, carrot... this list could go on forever. I also love frosting! Frosting, icing, glazes, ganache... this is probably why I am at Weight Watchers for the 5th or 6th time. I wish it were easy. Sometimes I wish I could eat what I want. Well I could, but I would be as big as a house. Richard Simmons would show up with a crane and get me out. I have no self control. But I'm learning. I don't want my kids to have to struggle with weight when they get older. And guess what, they love cake too.